7 reasons why you must love you

7 reasons why you must love you

Have you ever been in conversations with some people and you just discover that they have so much self-hate, or rather pity. They just they are no good. I remember being with someone once and she looked in the mirror and said is this how a human being should look? Right there, I wondered why so much hate though?
Self-love isn’t about idolizing yourself, it is about allowing yourself feel your own love and approval!
It is in the nature of man to always want to be appreciated. You will agree that whenever you did something nice and didn’t receive a well-done for it there is this dull feeling that you get, some people even feel very angry. This is someone else not appreciating you and you’ll admit that the feeling is not so good. Then why don’t you appreciate yourself? Why don’t you tell yourself well-done whenever you’ve done something really good? A lot of us seek for people’s approval when we’ve not even approved of ourselves first. Loving yourself is not optional, it is crucial.

• If you don’t, who will?
• you are an original
• you would be more productive
• you can only give what you have
• you deserve happiness
• your opinion matters too
• you owe it to your world

If you don’t, who will?

This reminds me of the famous Dettol commercial that says “if I do not take care of them, who will?” Allow me rephrase this, if you do not love you, who will? It all begins with you really. Sometimes you’ve just got to show others that you are valuable by treating yourself as such. The truth is people will never price you above the value you place on yourself.

Do not get me wrong, you are obviously not a commodity to be bought but you’ve got value. Let’s take this case scenario, let’s say you go to the supermarket to purchase a nice pair of sneakers. When you asked for the price and the seller says it’s 40$ will you go ahead to say no let me pay a 100$? I doubt that, you are definitely going to ask for a lower price or buy it at that same amount. The same goes for us as humans, you first state your value before expecting others to treat you as valuable. Remember, nobody would place you above the value you’ve placed on yourself. It all begins with you.

You are an original

We all know that no two individual is the same, that’s old news. Even if you find someone who thinks just like you do, there is always a distinction. You were solely created for a purpose that is fit for only you! Yes you! And that gap is something only you can fill. You are an original, there’s actually no one like you. Yes, despite all the flaws, it’s all part of the unique package you carry, embrace it all and love yourself through it all. Take out time to make this original (you) feel loved, take out time to develop this original, like I said it all begins with you and this original deserves love.

You would be more productive

For some of us, the only thing holding us back is us! The fact that you feel you are not good enough has make you retarded in diverse areas of your life. Loving yourself would make you more confident in you and this would breed action. You’ll be more productive to express all that you’ve been made for, you’ll give yourself the permission to fulfil purpose. Research has shown that 80% of the limitations a man faces is self-made, just 20% is due to external factors. Just maybe that thing holding you back is solely because you feel that you are not good enough. Just let go of yourself, allow yourself to be loved by you and allow you be more productive.

You only give what you have

There’s a famous saying “you can only give what you have”. This is very true, if you should ask someone for something, it can only be given to you if they have it. You really cannot show love to others if you do not first have it. It would be really difficult trying to force it, this is why it is very frustrating being around bitter people, they just can’t be nice or friendly, they do not just have it in them hence they can’t give it! If you want to be all nice and lovely to people, first show yourself love and the rest would take off from there.

You deserve happiness

You actually deserve to be happy, allow yourself the feeling. Joy is free, you do not buy it so why deprive yourself of the happiness you can get by showing yourself and others love? Maybe you get thoughts that make you feel like you do not deserve happiness because of something you’ve done, hence you allow yourself feel pain because you feel that you deserve it. For how long are you going to do that? How long are you going to live in your shadows? Be willing to forgive yourself and move to find happiness, because you really deserve it!

Your opinion matters too

A lot of us live our lives based on the opinion of others. You let what you can do and cannot do be determined by others. It’s sad to announce that if you’ve been letting the wrong voices determine the choices you make then you’ve been living way below your life purpose. It is okay to seek approval from others on certain issues but sometimes you are the last person you seek approval from, why? You do not like you, hence you feel your opinions do not matter. Well they matter, they do especially when all you get are negative comments from others. Sometimes you’ve just got to pat yourself in the back and give yourself some accolades! Because if you don’t nobody will. Choose to love yourself and allow your relevant opinions count in running your life.

You owe it to your world

Remember how you are an original? And that you need to let yourself feel loved in other to maximize your productivity? Then you’ll understand why this point is valid. You owe it to your world to be maximally productive, you can’t keep living as a shadow of your original self. There is something in you that the world is waiting for. Allow yourself fulfil purpose there’s so much resource in you, do not allow it waste to self-hate and pity.

In conclusion, You deserve some accolades from you sometimes. Get on and show the world what an original you are, allow you succeed, begin loving yourself today!

Till next time,
Keep living!

In my own words 002: goal setting

Last week a series on goal setting began, a brief introduction was given. If you missed it here’s a recap:


Why you should listen to this podcast?

“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” _William Jennings Bryan


1) Goals help you get a better focus in your life
2) Goals help you overcome distraction
3) Goals motivate you to do more
4) Of all, are you tired of going round in circles? Then this is for you

To listen to the introductory podcast, click here


One of the aim of this series is to give you a push to set  goals for yourself, but if you still haven’t started today is a good time to start. This podcast episode deals with the first step involved in goal setting.
The title of this step is “know your goal”. How do you begin to do something you do not even know? This episode highlights on the need know your goal and also be clear about them. Listen and enjoy.



In my own words 001: goal setting


In my own words is a podcast on personal growth and everyday life happenings. Hosted by Judith Ebengho. Here, she talks about issues, how she understands them and the best way they can be handled also. This podcast sheds more light on certain dealings that should be taken seriously, in order to create that dream life you desire. New episodes are released every Sunday.
You can also download episodes from sound cloud, just follow the icon below.



Why you should listen to this podcast?
“Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” _William Jennings Bryan
1) Goals help you get a better focus in your life
2) Goals help you overcome distraction
3) Goals motivate you to do more
4) Of all, are you tired of going round in circles? Then this is for you
To find out more please stay through on this series, this is the introductory track for the goals series:

The next episode on this series deals with the first step involved in setting realistic goals. To listen to the next episode, click here

A mind purge might be all you need

A mind purge might be all you need

What is the mind anyways?
The element of a person that enables them to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think, and to feel; the faculty of consciousness and thought.

the mind

Have you ever been in situations and you can’t seem to figure the way out? I guess at one point or the other we’ve all been in that place. You just keep trying different routes out but it all just seems to lead to a dead end. Then you succumb to all the negativity, self-pity sets in. You begin to say maybe that’s how life is meant to be. Maybe my life is just like this. At points like this, maybe all you need is a mind purge.

What would a purge mean?

If you have a very ‘soft stomach’ like mine, then you’ll have a mild clue to what ‘purge’ means. It means to get rid of an unwanted feeling, memory, or condition.

“It means to get rid of an unwanted feeling, memory, or condition”

Whether you like it or not, our thoughts which are formed in our minds have a way of creating the happenings around us, they form our words. Watch it, most times when you are bitter and negative, nothing ever seems to work out for you. Even when it does, somehow, the negativity around you only makes you see just the things that are bad. You would be almost blinded to the good in the current situation. In the bible, when God brought the Israelites out of Egypt, he didn’t take them directly to the promise land. Have you ever wondered why? Because they still had the mind-set of slaves, so the supposed promise land didn’t seem like a land really flowing with milk and honey. They still doubted the ability of God. Despite seeing all the miracles he performed, at the slightest instances they doubted him. Even though they had been free physically, they were in the prison of their own mind.

A mind purge:

Getting rid of unwanted feelings, memories, or conditions from that element of you that enables you to be aware of the world.

mind ourge


What if that solution is not forthcoming because your mind is not ready for it? What if all you really need is a mind purge?
Great minds do not always see limitations. There’s always an opportunity and a way forward. A wise man once said, if you want to be somewhere you’ve got to start acting like people who are already there. Why? Your mind needs the right conditioning for that place, so you do not end up acting like a slave in the palace; your actions are a product of your thoughts.



You need to purge your mind, stop oozing out all the negative energy. Out of the abundance of your heart, your mouth speaks and your words have a way of creating the happenings around you. It doesn’t happen all at once. It is a process that has to be dealt with absolute determination. Be deliberate about the thoughts you allow to float around in your mind, it is true we do not control it, but do not allow everything rest there. Try this, choose to be positive throughout this week. You’d be surprised at how much that can change for you.

Be deliberate about the thoughts you allow to float around in your mind.

Still haven’t read the eBook? click here to get it, its absolutely free!

Till next time,
Keep living!

you don’t see the struggle

It is very easy to get caught up with how beautiful something or people look on the outside; like my people will say, ‘all na packaging’. I remember when I first ventured into entrepreneurship, nobody told me it was a totally different ball game. I’ll simply say I was one of those people that walked in blindly. I always looked up to big brands (which is a good thing) but all I could see was the glory. Their story has been so packaged that the struggles where all hidden. I could not help but start the comparison. This actually made things worse because I had a lot of my energy diverted into worrying.
I remember always beating myself up. I always wondered why I am struggling with this, it felt like I was the only one. But then, I realised that sometimes it’s good to be on a “yobe” level. You really should not kill yourself, just be sure that you are at your best at every given time. Things will definitely fall in place with time. Are you comparing yourself with people who started way longer than you did? Remember at some point these people paid their dues. Some are still paying it, you just don’t see it.
You’ve got to stop killing yourself. We’ve all got our struggles, carrying a long face every time doesn’t solve it. We brace ourselves, pack it all up and deal with it.
Till next time,
Keep living.